Ladies have true lies when they get drunk and this is what happened on a house party I happened to attend lately thank God I was sober to get all this info between Prossy, Fiona and Mike
OMG, Really, I am having the best time.
I am so glad we decided to go out, because this is so fun. THIS IS SO FUN!" You drink your disgusting drink really fast because it's really disgusting but also because you cannot handle being in the club.
You should totally make out with him, he's super cute.
The Fireball shots are probably clouding Prossy’s judgment, but he's maybe kinda cute in a "I really really really wanted to make out with a tall man tonight" way? You give up. Friends don't cock-block drunk friends on a make out mission. Proceed, Prossy.
I am just done with men forever.
You know what? You and Prossy are done with dudes. Seriously! Just, like, done. Except maybe not Mike. Michael actually was super cute and really nice, and also he's been texting you. OK, fine, done with all boys except maybe Michael. And Josh, maybe. You'll see.
Ugh, I wish I were in a relationship. You and your boyfriend are amaaazing.
Guess what lucky guy is waiting for you when you get home? His name is Pizza and he's fucking delicious, and Fiona's boyfriend is an asshole who still doesn't know your name even though you've met seven times. "I know it's just because I haven't found the right person for me yet, but how do you guys do it?!" You don't actually care. Mmm, pizza.
You should just enjoy your singleness. I wish I were single like you.
You and Fiona both know these words are a lie as they are leaving her mouth, because you both know she is totally obsessed with her boyfriend and it's astonishing that she came out tonight at all. "I totally get what you're saying about wanting a boyfriend, but you should just enjoy being on your own," she says. Bye, Fiona.
I love you so, so much. We will literally always be friends
You cling to Prossy in the sticky third bathroom stall of O'Reilly's, imagining your life after college. Remember how you never speak to Amanda when you're sober? You know very well this fact presents a major problem in your BFF proposition. Oh well, that's a problem for Future You to deal with.
I'm not that drunk!!! I'm really not that drunk.
You just stumbled because you tripped over your shoe that you took off, you can totally stand up. In fact, you're so awake because of your six Sex on the Beaches. "It's like I've surpassed my drunk, you know? I'm so drunk that I'm basically sober. Seriously, Prossy, leave me alone. I'm fine."
10." I just want to go home and pass out, you know?" What you actually want to do is go sneak off to hook up with Michael, who you've secretly been texting all night. Or he can come find you, dammit. Or you can go find pizza. Pizza <3.
